I live in the south.

One thing I’ve experienced in the south is that white people often assume other white people agree with them on what is and isn’t racism, especially where white people are being “wronged.”

My experience the other day with a delivery driver is a perfect example.

He pulls up with my package and is clearly in a huff. He blurts out, “Can you believe it, this white basketball player just got fired for a text he sent in 2013 that they say is racist! Can you believe that?”

At that moment, I had two choices.

Go along to get along

I really didn’t feel like having a lengthy conversation, so what I wanted to say was, “Yeah, that’s crazy.” That’s the reply he was clearly expecting. I really just wanted to move on and go back to the project I was working on in my garage. YouTube was teaching me to solder. I wanted to go along to get along my way.

A “go along to get along” attitude allows racism to perpetuate in the white space.

(Suggestion: read the article “The White Space”).

So I pressed in. I took a deep breath, long paused, and asked, “Well, what did the guy say?” The driver didn’t know. He emphasized again that the guy got FIRED for something he said in 2013.

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Aside: I now believe he’s talking about a Utah coach being suspended pending an investigation into a 2013 text where he used a racial slur). Was he right to be outraged over someone being suspended for using a racial slur 7 years ago? My thoughts: If someone uses a racial slur, at the very least, it damages relationships. One might also reasonably conclude they’ve used racist language on other occasions, damaging other people and relationships. But it’s not just about the words. The Bible teaches us that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matt 12:34b, in context) Our words reflect the state of our heart and our conscious and unconscious thoughts. It stands to reason that such prejudice could, and likely would, come into play in actions and decisions made by that person, especially if, as a coach, they have authority over and responsibility for people of color. A suspension during an investigation of all of those issues is completely reasonable.

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White outrage

The white delivery driver again tries to convince me about how unreasonable it was for the white person to be treated this way.

There was no concern whatsoever for those impacted by the slur or how that person’s prejudice might have played out in their actions. In other words, there was no compassion for any actual victims of that person’s racism.

PAUSE: I live in the country, in the south, in a wealthy, overwhelmingly white county. I’m sure that came into play in the casual way he expressed his outrage and in his utter SHOCK that I did not automatically agree with him. That tells me that he expected a typical (white) person on his local route to agree with his outrage.

The belief that white people are being treated unfairly when they are held accountable for their racism is common in the white space.

He wouldn’t have expressed that outrage had I been black. Or maybe if one of my biracial children had been in the garage with me. He would have kept that southern white outrage to himself.

But it still would have been there, hidden beneath a smile and a wave.

[tweet_box design=”default” float=”none” excerpt=”The belief that white people are being treated unfairly when they are held accountable for their racism is common in the white space.”]The belief that white people are being treated unfairly when they are held accountable for their racism is common in the white space.[/tweet_box]

What do you really think?

A part of me that would rather have people express their racism and racial biases so at least we can humbly, together, deal with them head on. For example, in the case of a couple who recently outed their prejudice on a Facebook Live, we must ask ourselves how their (likely previously hidden) racism impacted their attitudes and decisions in their schools, jobs, volunteer work, church, and other relationships.

Until white people start eliminating our comfort with “casual racism” – the subtle “you and I know the truth” that happens in the white space, we are contributing to the problem of racism.

Until white people are more outraged by the impact of racism on people of color than we are about the impact of accountability for racism, we are contributing to the problem of racism.

Even being “neutral” is a problem. We must call it out.

The interaction with the delivery driver ended on an okay note. We talked some about faith, a little more about racism and what it looks like and how it can feel, and then he went on his way.

I hope the conversation, maybe, cracked a window in his white space.

 

Important Note: I am not the best source of information on racism and definitely should not be your primary or only source. If my writing speaks to you or challenges you, I encourage you to read more from writers who are black, indigenous, or people of color (BIPOC). Here is a great list of Christian writer/speaker women of color. Also, I highly recommend the books Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson (read a great interview from 6/1/2020)  and The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson.