My (over)Planned Son

After having four miscarriages, I relished being pregnant.

God knew what He was doing much better than I did. Even the bad parts of pregnancy were like music to my ears. The sick and throwing up part – just a bonus. I understood that the sickness came from the pregnancy hormones that rage through a woman’s body. And to me, the more sick I was, the less likely I was to lose this baby as well.

The night before the ultrasound where you find out the gender, we decided on a boy and a girl name so we could name the baby right away. Tyson was named the next day when he (clearly) showed himself to be a boy.
So after that we went about our business. My husband and I were both working hard at the time – I was a corporate lawyer at a firm in Nashville and he managed the office of a mortgage company. We took a dream trip to New York City for Thanksgiving and watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade from a friend’s condo high above the Macy’s stage.

Couldn’t get any better, right?

I was seven months pregnant when my husband lost his job. That was one of the first times that God was teaching us to live on less.

Tyson wasn’t due until mid-June, but two weeks ahead of schedule, the boy decided to surprise us at about 5:00am on a workday. I asked my husband if he was ready to have a baby that day and he just stared at me. Sometimes men don’t really understand that broken water means a baby is coming! Well … that is not always true, but that is saved for the story of baby #2.

After 12 hours of barely any labor at all, and 24 hours of pitocin-induced labor, my stubborn body was nowhere near ready to let go of this stubborn child. One c-section later and we had a screaming, round-headed, and gorgeous (at least in our minds) baby boy.

It’s funny how God plans things in such a better way than we do. Here we had a new baby and we could both stay home with him (and did for about 3 months). Although stressful, because my husband was looking for a new job, it was a blessed time that we all got to enjoy.

The most stressful time, but such a testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness, was our decision that I would not return to my job. My husband did not yet have a new job, although there were many promising leads. I had been on maternity leave and felt that it was time to give my firm notice if I were not coming back. We were reminded:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34. But don’t we so often worry about these things? Paying our bills, having food on the table, legitimate things to be concerned about. God doesn’t say not to use our best efforts to serve our families, but He says not to worry about it, to trust that He will provide. That was such a lesson to us during that time because we had to actively make a decision to have no current income at all. That lesson has been played out in our lives many times since then. I’ve had to tape it to my dinner table and my dresser to remind myself, because worry so often can infect my mind.

I overplanned for this child for years – his pregnancy, his birth, how he’d be, look, and act. But God’s planning and timing were perfect.

We had such a wonderful time with our first son and rejoiced with every milestone. My husband found a wonderful job and God continued to provide for our every need. We thought, it could take another four years to have another child so why wait? Well … Tyson was 8 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. Surprise, surprise…. God was giving us overflowing blessings out of our sorrow.