Proud resident of Chaos, Tennessee

A dirty shirt still 20 feet from the laundry basket.

The matching pants 10 feet further, still inside out.

A toy that will pierce the bottom of your foot. Next to one that’s broken because it already has.

A few crumbs on the floor… well, a lot of crumbs.

Even more crumbs next to an uneven stain of old milk that didn’t get cleaned up fast enough.

Crusty dishes.

Dirty carpet.

Piles of laundry.

Down the hallway is that bathroom that hasn’t been cleaned in six months.

Boys.

Bugs.

Dirt.

Chaos.

That’s where I live.

Chaos, Tennessee.

As a confessed ex-perfectionist who liked the toys put away and the carpet vacuumed just so (although I’ll confess that I never was one for making my bed), you can imagine my inner struggle with the current state of affairs.

Ever since Case’s diagnosis four years ago and especially after my arm injury a year later, things have slowly dissolved from order to chaos in my home.

Some might say that your surroundings reflect the perspective of your mind, suggesting that I might feel anxious or chaotic because my home exists as such.

But it is quite the opposite.

While I can’t say I’m *in love* with home chaos, God has used it to slowly chip away at my need for earthly order at the expense of heavenly grace.

Earthly chaos, in fact, serves as a constant reminder of where my eternal peace, order, and rest can be found:
My soul finds rest in God alone.
My salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation.
He is my fortress; I will never be shaken.
Psalm 62:1-2.

So if you’re living in chaos, let me encourage you that God cares more about order of your heart than the order of your house.

Are you living in chaos? Where do you look to find your peace?

Or are you living in order? Is that order at the expense of heavenly grace?